Dementia Got MeThinking

My heart aches for the many people I've counseled who experienced horrible & abusive parenting. They're still bitter. Remember, God chose your parents. He wanted their DNA to create you. That bitterness you carry is like a cancer- it started with your parents but now it has spread to other relationships and areas of your life. One day your parents, like my mom, may have dementia or some other disease that eats away their lives.. Bitterness has no place in the life of an adult child whose parent is ill. Move on, forgive. The one who is bitter and unforgiving is the one with the problem.

The pic is an excerpt from my afternoon devotion.

OVERWHELMED!

DEMENTIA CHRONICLES: Mom has lost 5% of her body weight since last Thanksgiving.

She doesn’t eat much because sometimes she: 1) Forgets how to eat, 2) Doesn’t like the food, or 3) Thinks she is eating when she is not.

 

In the picture, mom is sipping on a cup of coffee. I observed her spooning in sugar and even stirring. She slowly lifted the cup to her mouth, took sips and then carefully returned the cup to the table. She believes the coffee is there, but, invisible to me. She sometimes believes I see her hallucinations, but I just won't admit it.

 

Dementia is a HORRIBLE disease that kills. Walking through this with mom is making me a BETTER person, but I pray it doesn’t make me BITTER – I can handle the mistreatment my mom gives…it’s expected & excused…. she has dementia. This has been an emotional rollercoaster – I’d be okay with it, if it was mom that put me on the ride.  My husband and kids has been amazing!  I don’t know what I’d do without them! I am grateful to God for ministering to me.  He keeps me going!

 

I wish my family would give me a little support. A call here and there asking how am I doing would be nice. It's hard to believe that I am doing this alone without the support of my family. To add, I have been dealing with a major health issue since last September. I am in such extreme pain that I don't sleep much. Hip and knee swelling and pain has left me unable to sit too long. The pain never stops! My progress in physical therapy has been slow. With all of this, I am tending to mom and dad ALONE!

• I tend to both of my parents finances---alone.
• I am handling my dad's illness and possibly moving him here with me---alone.
• I am paying for mom's personal needs---alone.
• I am watching my mom deteriorate---alone.
• I am handling medical decisions, which I really don't have a clue about---alone.

 

Family, if you are reading this---AM I LYING? Why don't you call and ask "How are you doing? How is mom doing?" What did I do to deserve this? I feel alone and abandoned.

52 Years of Marriage...Let's Celebrate????

I know it's been a while since I posted. I've actually been posting what
is called "Dementia Chronicles" on my Facebook page. They have been a blessing to so many there. I've decided to include those entries on this blog as well.

So much has happened since my last entry. Because of her behavior (fights), mom was evicted from one nursing home and placed in another. She has a private room and is doing much better socially.

DEMENTIA CHRONICLES: Today is my parents' 52 wedding anniversary. Mom doesn't remember. Dad is living in New Orleans while mom is in an Arkansas nursing home. MARRIAGES - make the most of your marriage each day. Stop the pettiness! Prioritize your marriage. CELEBRATE and encourage your mate each day. You don't know what tomorrow holds so love, and love some more TODAY! .....Today is the first time ever that I can't tell my mom Happy Anniversary.....she doesn't remember

I can't imagine what my dad is going through today. He can't celebrate with his wife of 52 years. WOW!