A recent discussion with my husband of my birthday wishes triggered memories of a childhood birthday party. I was telling him how I had only one birthday party in my lifetime and that party came when I turned 6, 7, or 8. My mom hosted the party and I have no memories of my dad attending (just bringing out the absence of dad in my life). How typical! My husband was surprised —just one childhood party! I remember some of the kids who attended the party. My Sister, the 2 Mitchell girls, the 3 Carter kids, June, and Ree. Gosh, I still don’t remember dad being there. Back then we dressed up for parties. At least, we dressed up for mine.
My husband was shocked that my parents hadn’t given me parties as we have done each year for our kids. I only remember my sister having one party too. A few weeks ago, I visited my mom and to our surprise she boldly, confidently, and proudly stated, “Well, I only gave you one birthday party!” I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but she confessed loud and proud. My husband and I really “laughed out loud”. Then mom says, “what, you’re mad about that too?”
Dad was the kind of man that didn’t want people, other than his family, his friends and his clients, at our house. He spent money on us only for necessities, so I pretty much concluded he was the reason behind the lack of parties. However, my mom’s confession caused me to reflect back to the 60’s and 70’s. I really don’t remember ever going to neighborhood birthday parties. Of course it’s the parents that receive the invitations, so either mom didn’t tell us about parties or, perhaps, it was not common practice for kids to have parties.
Secondly, my mom’s statement got me to thinking…….Maybe she really didn’t have a clue about kids wanting a birthday party. Wow, her actions may not have been deliberate! After all, she was a Christmas baby and did not get birthday attention. In hindsight, I’ve had a few realizations:
1. Parties were not common practice. I’m grateful for the one I did have.
2. My mom’s childhood birthdays being overlooked affected her ability to give attention to her own kid’s birthdays. If not dealt with, our own childhood experiences could adversely affect how we treat our children and others.
Whatever the case, I decided never to skimp on my children’s special days. Their celebrations were called “The Birthday Affair”. Initially I overdid it, but later learned not to overcompensate my children because of my lack as a child.
Be a blessing!
Anilora
Originally posted 3/22/2011
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